Why It's So Ok To Be & Feel Alone

I seriously love candles. They are delicious to the nostrils. Anyways.

Lately, I have felt the utmost of loneliness. 

Very unwanted, unloved and alone.

So, the struggle has been real as they say. 

But also, I have felt the best of comfort and satisfaction with

being alone. 

Funky, huh?

My nature is to just take myself out of situations. 

Like photoshopping me out of pictures.

Poof. Gone.

That is how I handle things. 

I book it.

Run for the hills.

Peace out. 

Deuces.

See ya later, alligator.

And I'm coming to terms with that being an ok thing for me to do.

I have had to realize that there is a lot of bologna in my life and for me to process 

it all, I need a time-out.

And usually a good trip to the beach will do that for me. 

I first used to think that I could handle situations head-on. Then my heart and head said in agreement,"Kidding, you can't handle squat. You need to call a rain check."

It is very hard for me to give myself breaks. I often don't think I deserve them and that it is just

wasting my time.

What a lie from Satan himself! 

Everybody needs a rest!

We need time to recuperate from a rough week, day, hour, etc. 

Having these breaks allow me to pray, rest and better my spirit for the adventure ahead. 

As for what I have been feeling:

Unwanted: It stinks. Longing for a need.

Unloved: I miss I love you's and I really care about you, Lex.

Alone: Who turned out the lights?

And every time I think about this, I think...

Well where did I place God in the midst of this?

Because he WANTS me, he LOVES me and he is ALWAYS with me. 

Affirmation from family and friends is always a wonderful thing. 

It is the utmost of comforting. 

Even just randomly. I love it and I appreciate it. 

So, I think what I'm trying to get across here is that you are not alone. Nor am I.

And when you want to be alone, you go do it. 

Because being alone and feeling alone are both terrible and beautiful differences. 

I long to be alone because that's time for me.

But I crave company, companionship and affirmation because I don't like feeling 

shut-out.

And that's how I feel. 
In the midst of terribly and beautifully alone, honey.



I care about you.
Lelee