I turned 20 in March and I am stoked for the new adventure I will depart on this year and those later on. Here's a couple things to keep in mind when you depart on your wenties adventure:
1. You're going to be broke for a good amount of time. Don't spend what you don't have. Don't forget to save as much as you can now. Then you can buy that Lambo you've been dreaming of.
2. My mama always says,"Work hard now so you can play later."
Seriously, do it. Whatever it is be it school or work or whatever you do. Work hard now. Then go for a ride in that Lambo. Then pick me up.
3. The first time you fall in love won't be the last time you fall in love. There are so many righteous people out there that you have yet to meet. Nor don't you dare settle.
4. You will grow apart from your friends. You're going to move, get in relationships and take different career paths. They're going to take up a lot of time. Cherish the time you have together now. Today, call your friend and tell them you love them and you want to get a coffee.
5. Nothing in your life is permanent. You won't be in school forever, the job you hate you won't last much longer, that Nutella jar in your cupboard will be gone by tonight, I guarantee you.
6. You are one good-looking kid. No amount of dieting, working out or protein shakes are going to change the wonderful masterpiece God created you to be.
7. Have an ambition to stay healthy and feel good about yourself. Work out and eat right. It will make you feel like you are a champion. Because really, you are! Embrace it !!
8. You are going to feel alone. And you're going to be ok.
9. You NEED your parents. Stop saying you don't.
1o. You're going to feel unworthy.
Stop it. God says you are worth more than the birds in the sky. Try to count all the birds in the sky you see today, and when you give up, know there's like a gazillion out there.
11. Trust your gut. But don't be afraid to change your mind.
12. The past is over. Yes, we learned a lot from it, but we can't change it. If I could, I'd go back to my birthday and eat the pound or so of Alfredo I did. Don't fret about it.
13. Being a good person is hard work. You're going to be a meany-pants sometimes, and when that day comes forgive yourself, forgive others and love them like they've never been loved before.
14. Don't defeat yourself about trying to see the good in every person you meet. Just say, "Whoops. Still love you home-slice, " and remember that life is cool.
15. When you find your dude/gal that you absolutely adore, that is pure awesomeness. But your relationship is going to take work. Nothing comes easy in life & don't think that your love you had when you were young is going to get you through life's troubles when your older. Be set emotionally, physically, career-wise and mentally. That person is going to be the one that you pux around (that's slang for fart in Trinidad.) They're going to be the one that gives you toilet-paper when there is none in the bathroom and you're doing your business. I pray this your best friend.
16. Accept that as time progresses, your body and mind will change. We'll all grow ponza's together (Italian slang for big-belly) and it will be great.
17. Sometimes the floor will be the only one to catch you. Ouch. That's going to hurt. But don't forget that the sky is right above your pretty little head. Reach for it, baby!
18. Love people. Love them, love them, love them. I can't express that enough. No matter what they've done, who they are or whether or not they like Kings or Ducks, love their guts.
19. Ehhh, but you won't love everyone & that's ok. Some people are harder to love. Sometimes I try to hug my 13 year old sister and I tell her to love me and she's like,"What's going on here?" But I still love her guts. Even when we have a disagreement, I am still called to love.
20. It's ok to be alone. Turn off the phone, the tv, social media and take a breather. Go sit yourself at the beach or wherever you like going and read a book, listen to some country music and chill there. Jesus needed to take time for him to be alone so he could pray and gather his thoughts. Do it, too. Because life is going to get chaotic. Allow yourself the time to transform into the lovely person you are.
21. Adventure is out there! Seek it. You want to go on a safari? (That's my DREAM!) Seek out the plans to do so. You can! Take the steps to do so! It may take some time getting there, but you got it dude!
22. Say Thank You. Please. Excuse Me. Manners make you sophisticated.
23. Buy your friend a corn dog or some other item that will make them happy. Why? Because you can.
24. If your friend has ketchup on their shirt. Put some on yours, too. Don't ever put your friends down.
25.
26. Just like #25 says, its ok to just say Nothing.
27. It's ok to tell people how you feel. If they asked, they probably really care about you.
28. Listen. Pull a #25. Your presence is magical.
29. God has a plan. You are a special person. And you have a specific route called for you. It may not be Route 66. Let it be Route #25. Just go with the flow. It may be nothing right now, but God will take you places you never dreamed!
30. Embrace the adventure.
You are so cool,
AR
Friday, May 30, 2014
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Let's Be Real: The Journey Continues
So anyways,
There were plenty more events that happened my senior year in high school: someone thrashed my school locker & threatened to rape me. I had a mirror in there that they shattered and sprinkled all over my textbooks (that they drew on as well.)
Friendships with friends were turning from bad to worse.
And home-life, that's another story:
6 years ago, my family moved into my grandmother's house to take care of her, my Nona.
6 years ago, she had started developing the early stages of dementia, a tragic oncoming of Alzheimer's disease. Alzheimer's disease causes the brain to deteriorate, ultimately killing off brain cells and turning the once life-filled brain into absolute mush.
I was pretty close to Nona, my grandmother, growing up. This lady would tell me stories of her upbringing all the time and I so admire all she did. She is the oldest of her multiple siblings. They grew up during WWII. Her family had to escape Italy and go to Benghazi, Africa in order to escape the tirany of Mussolini. There, she still endured the hardships of the war around her. She would tell me stories of homes being blown to smithereens and having to hide away in bomb-shelters. Having to care for her younger siblings most of their lives until they moved to the US and met my grandpa. They were set-up and my Nona was such a charmer that my gramps proposed ON THE SECOND DATE!
(Dear future guy I date, on our second date, can we please get Kickin' Crab? It's really great Cajun Seafood and I want to show you how I can chow down like a champion.)
Nona took care of me when I was a baby while my parents worked. As I got older, I took the school bus from her house to school and took the same bus back to her house. She would have an extravagant home-made Italian lunch all set up for me.
She worked at Disneyland for 14 years and almost every week she would take me. It was such a magical experience. It was truly the "Happiest Place on Earth" when Nona was with me. Her smile and laugh could melt your heart. She cared, uncontrollably about everyone and always sought to make people the happiest they could be.
Every Wednesday was sphagetti night, where she would make all the family a dish of her homemade sphagetti and meatballs. (If you have never had an Italian woman make you home-made sauce before, find an Italian woman and ask her to. You will never eat at Olive Garden again.)
After my grandfather passed away, is when we really started noticing change in her. My grandpa was a wonderful man. He truly was something special and the love between my grandparents was a beautiful thing. He always was singing and always had memorable quotes. This sweet man suffered from diabetes. Somedays, when he was feeling good, he would wrap me up in his arms and take me to the backyard swing and sing to me as we rocked away with not a care in the world.
I miss his songs. I miss his hugs. I miss his love. I really, really do. The toll of losing him was too great.
Nona started with leaving the sink on. Then the gardening hose. She was repeating herself and often would say she was ready to go home, when we were at her home.
It went onto her forgetting names and forgetting how to drive. My family decided it would be a good idea to move in and help her.
It progressed to forgetting where she was going, forgetting how to use a fork, how to speak English, eventually to forgetting how to walk, talk, and use her body.
Her sense of communication now are mumbles and shouts.
She is bed-bound and we have done all we can to make the most of her life for her.
We do the feeding, changing, medical attention, etc.
Do you know how hard it is to watch someone you love so dearly, slowly forget everything you once knew to be loved so dear?
It has been the hardest thing: watching her life change in a long and fast 6 years.
I don't know why my precious Nona had to develop this. I don't know what God has left in store for her and that is hard.
It's hard for me to care for her, knowing that somedays she will smile at me, knowing who I am and others she just stares at me as in a daze. I know somewhere deep down she still knows me. Somewhere I'm still a part of her life.
On good days, we catch her smiling. Occasionally a coherent word like: "good" or "ok."
When I care for her I try to talk to this body with a small mind. I tell her about life and my day, wondering what could be trickling through her mind. Her eyes are not what they once were: so full of life. That is hidden behind what seems to be dark eyes.
A lot of times, I tend to think that the pain behind all this is what caused me to go looking for a longed love that I found elsewhere.
Nor did I, during the early years of staying with her had I ever sought out Christ for strength.
Today, I seek him daily in each aspect of caring for her. I may not know his purpose for her and my family, but his plans are something I cannot even fathom.
We're still caring for and loving her each day. It's hard, but it's an adventure.
When I attended college my freshman year is when I found out that having a relationship with Christ was the real deal! Going to a Christian school, always going to Chapel and having Bible classes was the push I needed. Not only that, but being brought into my home church. Having a loving community that walks with you on your adventure is a beautiful thing. God calls us to be in community with our brothers and sisters. I don't know where I would be without having these forces causing me to collision with God. Actually, now that I think about it, I'm sure that was all God-the forces.
Much Like Skywalker, I was shocked when this mighty force said,"Lex, I am your father." But instead of saying,"NOOOOOOOOO."
I said,"YAAAAAAAAY!!!!"
He's such a cool guy. Having a relationship with my daddyo has helped me through all the adventures I have been on: big and small. Each day, he likes to show me how He loves me. It's just up to me to see.
At the beginning of the year, my mom was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. It was a long and tedious process of figuring out what steps to take and how the cancer was transforming. Who would of ever thunk that my mom, who cares so much for her mom, would end up with this. When we found out we were floored.
Would you believe that within months, the cancer disappeared?
That is how amazing God works. He is such a trooper that never ever fails us.
He can take disease and knock it dead!
He literally is the almighty!
Today, we're living life. It's cool. Taking each day as it comes. Loving God more and more for each adventure I go on. I like Adventure and am stoked for more.
Dude, the Almighty, is your dad.
Lexy
There were plenty more events that happened my senior year in high school: someone thrashed my school locker & threatened to rape me. I had a mirror in there that they shattered and sprinkled all over my textbooks (that they drew on as well.)
Friendships with friends were turning from bad to worse.
And home-life, that's another story:
6 years ago, my family moved into my grandmother's house to take care of her, my Nona.
6 years ago, she had started developing the early stages of dementia, a tragic oncoming of Alzheimer's disease. Alzheimer's disease causes the brain to deteriorate, ultimately killing off brain cells and turning the once life-filled brain into absolute mush.
I was pretty close to Nona, my grandmother, growing up. This lady would tell me stories of her upbringing all the time and I so admire all she did. She is the oldest of her multiple siblings. They grew up during WWII. Her family had to escape Italy and go to Benghazi, Africa in order to escape the tirany of Mussolini. There, she still endured the hardships of the war around her. She would tell me stories of homes being blown to smithereens and having to hide away in bomb-shelters. Having to care for her younger siblings most of their lives until they moved to the US and met my grandpa. They were set-up and my Nona was such a charmer that my gramps proposed ON THE SECOND DATE!
(Dear future guy I date, on our second date, can we please get Kickin' Crab? It's really great Cajun Seafood and I want to show you how I can chow down like a champion.)
Nona took care of me when I was a baby while my parents worked. As I got older, I took the school bus from her house to school and took the same bus back to her house. She would have an extravagant home-made Italian lunch all set up for me.
She worked at Disneyland for 14 years and almost every week she would take me. It was such a magical experience. It was truly the "Happiest Place on Earth" when Nona was with me. Her smile and laugh could melt your heart. She cared, uncontrollably about everyone and always sought to make people the happiest they could be.
Every Wednesday was sphagetti night, where she would make all the family a dish of her homemade sphagetti and meatballs. (If you have never had an Italian woman make you home-made sauce before, find an Italian woman and ask her to. You will never eat at Olive Garden again.)
After my grandfather passed away, is when we really started noticing change in her. My grandpa was a wonderful man. He truly was something special and the love between my grandparents was a beautiful thing. He always was singing and always had memorable quotes. This sweet man suffered from diabetes. Somedays, when he was feeling good, he would wrap me up in his arms and take me to the backyard swing and sing to me as we rocked away with not a care in the world.
I miss his songs. I miss his hugs. I miss his love. I really, really do. The toll of losing him was too great.
Nona started with leaving the sink on. Then the gardening hose. She was repeating herself and often would say she was ready to go home, when we were at her home.
It went onto her forgetting names and forgetting how to drive. My family decided it would be a good idea to move in and help her.
It progressed to forgetting where she was going, forgetting how to use a fork, how to speak English, eventually to forgetting how to walk, talk, and use her body.
Her sense of communication now are mumbles and shouts.
She is bed-bound and we have done all we can to make the most of her life for her.
We do the feeding, changing, medical attention, etc.
Do you know how hard it is to watch someone you love so dearly, slowly forget everything you once knew to be loved so dear?
It has been the hardest thing: watching her life change in a long and fast 6 years.
I don't know why my precious Nona had to develop this. I don't know what God has left in store for her and that is hard.
It's hard for me to care for her, knowing that somedays she will smile at me, knowing who I am and others she just stares at me as in a daze. I know somewhere deep down she still knows me. Somewhere I'm still a part of her life.
On good days, we catch her smiling. Occasionally a coherent word like: "good" or "ok."
When I care for her I try to talk to this body with a small mind. I tell her about life and my day, wondering what could be trickling through her mind. Her eyes are not what they once were: so full of life. That is hidden behind what seems to be dark eyes.
A lot of times, I tend to think that the pain behind all this is what caused me to go looking for a longed love that I found elsewhere.
Nor did I, during the early years of staying with her had I ever sought out Christ for strength.
Today, I seek him daily in each aspect of caring for her. I may not know his purpose for her and my family, but his plans are something I cannot even fathom.
We're still caring for and loving her each day. It's hard, but it's an adventure.
When I attended college my freshman year is when I found out that having a relationship with Christ was the real deal! Going to a Christian school, always going to Chapel and having Bible classes was the push I needed. Not only that, but being brought into my home church. Having a loving community that walks with you on your adventure is a beautiful thing. God calls us to be in community with our brothers and sisters. I don't know where I would be without having these forces causing me to collision with God. Actually, now that I think about it, I'm sure that was all God-the forces.
Much Like Skywalker, I was shocked when this mighty force said,"Lex, I am your father." But instead of saying,"NOOOOOOOOO."
I said,"YAAAAAAAAY!!!!"
He's such a cool guy. Having a relationship with my daddyo has helped me through all the adventures I have been on: big and small. Each day, he likes to show me how He loves me. It's just up to me to see.
At the beginning of the year, my mom was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. It was a long and tedious process of figuring out what steps to take and how the cancer was transforming. Who would of ever thunk that my mom, who cares so much for her mom, would end up with this. When we found out we were floored.
Would you believe that within months, the cancer disappeared?
That is how amazing God works. He is such a trooper that never ever fails us.
He can take disease and knock it dead!
He literally is the almighty!
Today, we're living life. It's cool. Taking each day as it comes. Loving God more and more for each adventure I go on. I like Adventure and am stoked for more.
Dude, the Almighty, is your dad.
Lexy
Monday, May 12, 2014
Let's Be Real.
Right now, my hands are shaking. I was crying before I could even confront my computer.
I like to write & I was asking the Lord for guidance on writing this. Journaling. Poetry. Essays. Those are my shin-digs.
As I was crying I said to myself," Wow, I am such a child." And automatically the Lord said,"Well, of course, you're my child."
I went to the bathroom to wipe my tears and He said,"Now go write."
So, here I am and what I have been convicted to do is tell you about me.
Please know first and foremost that everyone has a unique story. Mine is no better nor worse than anyone else's. I feel that if the Lord hadn't given me hands to type and ears to listen to his commands, then I really wouldn't be doing this, would I?
So, here I go.
I remember knowing who God was. Honestly, when I was younger, I had no idea that there was a difference between God & Jesus. I mean, I know they're the same thing, but not. You know what I mean? Anyways, I went to church and that's about it. Traveled to many different ones. Kind of just took it all for granted, if that makes sense. Never found a home nor a home in Christ.
I knew who God was. Never really acknowledged him until college.
So, let's rewind:
Elementary School:
I was just an awkward bean (yes, bean) who wore skirts over my jeans with high-top converse with flames on them.
I made a friend cry because I told her she wasn't being serious about our band : Girls Down the Street
so I kicked her out.
I liked Top-Ramen, uncooked with the seasoning all over the place.
I don't think my first-grade buddy liked me. She never talked to me.
My 3rd grade teacher told my parents in a conference that I day-dreamed too much in class.
I never took speech, so now I have an everlasting lisp.
Junior High.
Oh boy, the good ol' days. This is when you finally feel like a cool kid because you have multiple classes, you have lunch breaks and passing periods fueled with blazing hormones, lust and stupidity.
Raise your hand if you were stupid in junior high. (Better believe my hand is raised high.)
Now, I would love to look back at myself today and ask too-much makeup, boy-crazy Alexis what I was thinking.
Self-image. Boys. Drama. Those were my idols.
I hated how I looked and tried desperately to cover it up with make-up. I wore matching eye shadow to match all my outfits. Wearing a bright green shirt. Gotta have my bright green eye shadow to with it! I straightened my hair. Every. Single. Day. (Which I now regret.) People said I looked prettier that way.
I hated my stomach and arms and legs and chest. I was so different. I remember going home one day, going to my room and continuously punching myself in the stomach so hard I almost chucked-the-bucket. (That never happened again because I detest chucking-the-bucket.) I had friends put me down for my weight. That was hard. Friends. I repeat, FRIENDS. I wonder if they know how much that made me cry.
(Que the T. Swift song that goes,"Why ya gotta be so meeeaaan?")
I tried finding satisfaction in boys. I had my first "boyfriend" in like 7th grade...or maybe 8th. I also remember liking a plethora of boys. For some reason, I felt like such an adult...or what was a skew version of one. I figured why not have a boyfriend? What's the harm in that? Well fact of the matter is, I didn't even like this kid. I just wanted in on the "boyfriend bandwagon." I felt bad for leading him on, but my friends were all doing it and I really wanted to be "liked." Did we date beforehand? No. Did my parents know? Nope. Would they have approved? No way!
Lies. Sin. Lack of trust and disobedience were part of my game.
Oh, I liked to cuss a lot, too. Grody dude.
High School:
I feel like High School should be called Low School because because that is where the lowest of the lows dwell. Now, you may have had a fantastic High School experience, but don't tell me you did not struggle with something during your years there be it: lying, lust, drugs, alcohol, etc. The list goes on. You were at a low sometime in your life. (Trust me though, we were all at a High when we graduated!)
Anyways, I was a low low low low low girl. I remember the first day of my freshman year thinking I had to look great because I had to impress all the new boys I would meet. Boy was I dumb.
Can I be real with you girls for a moment?
YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH.
Please know and understand that as I had no idea what this even meant, you should understand that you are so special and so loved. You may not see it everyday, but it is a beautiful gift.
Like I said, my story varies from others. But, I feel this is where things got cray.
I've had a lot of different groups of friends. Good and bad. Some chose choices that weren't really for me and I guess by them not inviting me to these "events" (because somehow they figured I was a goody-two-shoes) was a good thing because I was never really into the whole party scene thing. Drinking and drugs were never something I was really into. Those substances couldn't give me the affection I sought. Like boys.
I cannot give a specific time frame, but there was a point where I got SUPER boy-crazy. I did everything I could to seek out guy attention. I knew what guys and when these guys would hug me and hold me at different periods in the day. I craved that attention and when a guy gave it, I took it willingly.
Later on, I met an older guy. (Not super old, let's be clear.) He lied about his age and we snuck around. Literally, snuck around meaning: I left out of my window.
I got my first insight into what going too far was. Do I regret it, today? Absolutely.
Later later, a guy from school and I got into...haha it wasn't even a relationship. I don't know what it was, actually. We, too went a wee far. Do I regret that, too? Sure do.
Later later later, I met the guy of dreams: charming, funny, handsome, strong, good-looking. He had it all. Finally, he took me on, what I understood, was a "real" date (after I had to tell him to ask me on one.) We dated a couple times, I snuck him into my house a couple times, we met up at his place a couple times, took it too far too many times.
Do I regret that?
I am still learning to forgive myself.
Who I thought was the man of my dreams turned to out to be my knight in aluminum foil. What went from tickle fights turned to hitting-arguments. What were fights in movie theaters turned to be him deserting me in a parking lot. What people were telling me about him talking to other girls behind my back turned out to be true. I was crushed. My rock had turned to play-dough. Or maybe that was him all along and I was too blinded by this ugly, distorted version of love I had.
Little did I know that the love I felt was just that: feeling.
It never meant something.
We never sat down and said, "What is our purpose?"
We never looked each other in the eye and said, "I respect you and I want this to be a glorious thing."
We never looked at God in the midst of our troubles.
Why hadn't I waited before rushing into this?
Why didn't I read the 10 million books my mom gave me to read about dating?
Why had I not seen the millions of signs God was sending me?
And you know what God tells me everyday since: It's done.
Don't forget who loves you most,
Lex
I like to write & I was asking the Lord for guidance on writing this. Journaling. Poetry. Essays. Those are my shin-digs.
As I was crying I said to myself," Wow, I am such a child." And automatically the Lord said,"Well, of course, you're my child."
I went to the bathroom to wipe my tears and He said,"Now go write."
So, here I am and what I have been convicted to do is tell you about me.
Please know first and foremost that everyone has a unique story. Mine is no better nor worse than anyone else's. I feel that if the Lord hadn't given me hands to type and ears to listen to his commands, then I really wouldn't be doing this, would I?
So, here I go.
I remember knowing who God was. Honestly, when I was younger, I had no idea that there was a difference between God & Jesus. I mean, I know they're the same thing, but not. You know what I mean? Anyways, I went to church and that's about it. Traveled to many different ones. Kind of just took it all for granted, if that makes sense. Never found a home nor a home in Christ.
I knew who God was. Never really acknowledged him until college.
So, let's rewind:
Elementary School:
I was just an awkward bean (yes, bean) who wore skirts over my jeans with high-top converse with flames on them.
I made a friend cry because I told her she wasn't being serious about our band : Girls Down the Street
so I kicked her out.
I liked Top-Ramen, uncooked with the seasoning all over the place.
I don't think my first-grade buddy liked me. She never talked to me.
My 3rd grade teacher told my parents in a conference that I day-dreamed too much in class.
I never took speech, so now I have an everlasting lisp.
Junior High.
Oh boy, the good ol' days. This is when you finally feel like a cool kid because you have multiple classes, you have lunch breaks and passing periods fueled with blazing hormones, lust and stupidity.
Raise your hand if you were stupid in junior high. (Better believe my hand is raised high.)
Now, I would love to look back at myself today and ask too-much makeup, boy-crazy Alexis what I was thinking.
Self-image. Boys. Drama. Those were my idols.
I hated how I looked and tried desperately to cover it up with make-up. I wore matching eye shadow to match all my outfits. Wearing a bright green shirt. Gotta have my bright green eye shadow to with it! I straightened my hair. Every. Single. Day. (Which I now regret.) People said I looked prettier that way.
I hated my stomach and arms and legs and chest. I was so different. I remember going home one day, going to my room and continuously punching myself in the stomach so hard I almost chucked-the-bucket. (That never happened again because I detest chucking-the-bucket.) I had friends put me down for my weight. That was hard. Friends. I repeat, FRIENDS. I wonder if they know how much that made me cry.
(Que the T. Swift song that goes,"Why ya gotta be so meeeaaan?")
I tried finding satisfaction in boys. I had my first "boyfriend" in like 7th grade...or maybe 8th. I also remember liking a plethora of boys. For some reason, I felt like such an adult...or what was a skew version of one. I figured why not have a boyfriend? What's the harm in that? Well fact of the matter is, I didn't even like this kid. I just wanted in on the "boyfriend bandwagon." I felt bad for leading him on, but my friends were all doing it and I really wanted to be "liked." Did we date beforehand? No. Did my parents know? Nope. Would they have approved? No way!
Lies. Sin. Lack of trust and disobedience were part of my game.
Oh, I liked to cuss a lot, too. Grody dude.
High School:
I feel like High School should be called Low School because because that is where the lowest of the lows dwell. Now, you may have had a fantastic High School experience, but don't tell me you did not struggle with something during your years there be it: lying, lust, drugs, alcohol, etc. The list goes on. You were at a low sometime in your life. (Trust me though, we were all at a High when we graduated!)
Anyways, I was a low low low low low girl. I remember the first day of my freshman year thinking I had to look great because I had to impress all the new boys I would meet. Boy was I dumb.
Can I be real with you girls for a moment?
YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH.
Please know and understand that as I had no idea what this even meant, you should understand that you are so special and so loved. You may not see it everyday, but it is a beautiful gift.
Like I said, my story varies from others. But, I feel this is where things got cray.
I've had a lot of different groups of friends. Good and bad. Some chose choices that weren't really for me and I guess by them not inviting me to these "events" (because somehow they figured I was a goody-two-shoes) was a good thing because I was never really into the whole party scene thing. Drinking and drugs were never something I was really into. Those substances couldn't give me the affection I sought. Like boys.
I cannot give a specific time frame, but there was a point where I got SUPER boy-crazy. I did everything I could to seek out guy attention. I knew what guys and when these guys would hug me and hold me at different periods in the day. I craved that attention and when a guy gave it, I took it willingly.
Later on, I met an older guy. (Not super old, let's be clear.) He lied about his age and we snuck around. Literally, snuck around meaning: I left out of my window.
I got my first insight into what going too far was. Do I regret it, today? Absolutely.
Later later, a guy from school and I got into...haha it wasn't even a relationship. I don't know what it was, actually. We, too went a wee far. Do I regret that, too? Sure do.
Later later later, I met the guy of dreams: charming, funny, handsome, strong, good-looking. He had it all. Finally, he took me on, what I understood, was a "real" date (after I had to tell him to ask me on one.) We dated a couple times, I snuck him into my house a couple times, we met up at his place a couple times, took it too far too many times.
Do I regret that?
I am still learning to forgive myself.
Who I thought was the man of my dreams turned to out to be my knight in aluminum foil. What went from tickle fights turned to hitting-arguments. What were fights in movie theaters turned to be him deserting me in a parking lot. What people were telling me about him talking to other girls behind my back turned out to be true. I was crushed. My rock had turned to play-dough. Or maybe that was him all along and I was too blinded by this ugly, distorted version of love I had.
Little did I know that the love I felt was just that: feeling.
It never meant something.
We never sat down and said, "What is our purpose?"
We never looked each other in the eye and said, "I respect you and I want this to be a glorious thing."
We never looked at God in the midst of our troubles.
Why hadn't I waited before rushing into this?
Why didn't I read the 10 million books my mom gave me to read about dating?
Why had I not seen the millions of signs God was sending me?
And you know what God tells me everyday since: It's done.
Don't forget who loves you most,
Lex
Sunday, May 11, 2014
the hair
Dude, my hair used to be so gross.
It was so dead and horrid from years of not treating it right, straightening it & curling it.
Now, I remember to treat my hair so that it maintains a nice healthy coolio wave.
Some recommended treatment I have for keeping your hair healthy:
Olive Oil : leave it in your hair for like a half hour to an hour. Your hair will be oily & grody afterwards so do this on a day that you're going to sit in your yogurt pants all day and watch Star Wars.
Mayonnaise: same thing as above, but your hair is going to smell nasty. So, don't plan any dates with your boo-thang for a couple days afterwards.
Coconut Oil: same. Your hair will smell like the bath & body works store but it will still be oily-looking.
Apple-Cider Vinegar: relieves dryness. Works great as a conditioner. BUT your hair will smell nasty-nast.
Again, just take a couple days off from life and lay in your bed with your stinky hair and love on some ice cream.
Baking Soda: Depending on how much hair you have, you may have to use a little more for thicker hair. Try to get it into your scalp by adding some water to it.
One time, I mixed these all together and it fizzled (made a cool science project) and my hair smelled like baby throw-up.
Don't do that.
Want to know a secret?
Add some lemon juice to your hair, go sit in the sun for a couple hours and it will naturally highlight your hair!
Can't wait to do it over the summer!
You're Wonderful,
Lex
Hi ya'll!
So, I'll go ahead and introduce myself: my name is Alexis Ramdhani. I'm in my wenties (I'm 20), I'm in school and am in the long & tedious process of getting my pre-requisites out of the way to go to Chiropractic School. I still have a long way to go, but I'm getting there!
So, I mean that's that so far. We'll dig deep into the soul of my life further into these blogs. (Whoah, don't get scared. That sounded scary, huh? I'm sorry.)
I feel it's a cool idea to start this blog because LIFE IS COOL
& it is something to be celebrated! Everyone has an absolutely interesting story that God gave them. As I share tidbits of my life, please share yours with me.
We are so intricately and wonderfully made (Bible quotes homey) and sharing that is pure awesomeness.
Anyways, we'll get started soon, but I just wanted to drop in & say hello.
You're a special one,
Lex
So, I'll go ahead and introduce myself: my name is Alexis Ramdhani. I'm in my wenties (I'm 20), I'm in school and am in the long & tedious process of getting my pre-requisites out of the way to go to Chiropractic School. I still have a long way to go, but I'm getting there!
So, I mean that's that so far. We'll dig deep into the soul of my life further into these blogs. (Whoah, don't get scared. That sounded scary, huh? I'm sorry.)
I feel it's a cool idea to start this blog because LIFE IS COOL
& it is something to be celebrated! Everyone has an absolutely interesting story that God gave them. As I share tidbits of my life, please share yours with me.
We are so intricately and wonderfully made (Bible quotes homey) and sharing that is pure awesomeness.
Anyways, we'll get started soon, but I just wanted to drop in & say hello.
You're a special one,
Lex
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