Dear Ex

"...If this is fate, count me out..."
Ron Pope
Cinnamon

You know what's funny?
Fate.
There was no trying.
If it was going to work, it would of.

So how are you?
Are you ok?
How is your family?
What are you up to?
But really, are you ok?

I think about us seldom.
Remember how much we cared for each other & how much we would laugh?
Phone calls every night. Loved those!
How much we would spend time together and talk about a future.
You were my absolute best friend.
The way you would look in my eyes and would hold my hand.
The way you told me you loved me.

The way you lied.
Remember the hurt?
The tears?
The arguments?
The way you would hold me down.
Jealousy. Rage. Innocence. Deceit.
Love.
Loss.
Wasted weekends. Few hours. Fewer laughs.
What more could you have taken from me?

That was when You took all you needed from me.
While I grasped for what was possibly left of me.

I crashed.
And you left.
And you were ok.

It has taken much time get back what you took away.
What would it have taken for you to be there with me through
drawn-out days?
Through the years that I caved.
Through the nights my soul died.

You shattered me.
I was frightened.
Scared.

I was left in the dark.
No one picked me up, but the sweet hand of the
devil himself.
How could you have just left me there?

So, are you ok?
I mean I get it.
But when did you break?
Were you alone?
Maybe you are continuously shoving emotion after emotion
down your own throat.
When will you stop it?


Dear Ex,
I pray for you.
Neither am I totally healed.

Dear Ex,
No, I am not her.

Dearest Ex,
You taught well.
Love is sacred.

Dear Ex,
I forgive you.
But I can't love you.

Dear Ex,
I'm scared to fall.

Dear Ex,
Do you think anyone will ever love
either one of us again?

Dear Ex,
I am so sorry.
I am just so sorry.

Ex,
Why is the truth so easy this time around?




Alexis