The Coffee Date

Sitting here in this coffee shop. 

I have a wonderful cup off piping hot coffee in front of me.

I'm listening to the ambience. Taking it all in. 

I picture Jesus sitting across from me.

Waiting to listen.

Wanting to hear me. 

Taking out time in his day for me.

My coffee date.

My sweet, sweet coffee date. 

Jesus is a story teller. If you read through scripture, he uses parables quite often.

We can look at Matthew 13 and see all he spoke of! 

His parables offer teaching. His words offer hope. His ways offer life. 

Aside from his wonderful stories, he's a great listener. 

He has an ear so keen that when I share my stories with him, 

I feel his presence. And I feel him near. 

I feel like he smiles when I tell him stories of triumph and joy.

He weeps with me when I tell him my struggles and stories of my brokenness.

And he laughs with me when I tell him about embracing my awkward life. 

He sees me for who I am: broken, but enough.

I like to think of how much he loves and how devoted he is to us.

He is committed to be a part of your story. 

He promises to walk with you. 

To sit across the table from you. 

To whisper sweet things to you. 

To allow you to trust him as your confidant. 

To be with you. 

To make sure you drive home safe.

And to love you. 

So here is my ultimatum: 

Your story matters. 

And I want to hear you. 

Because I totally love you.

Let me treat you to coffee.

Tell me your story. 

It would be an honor to sit with you.

I would love to listen to you.

Because sometimes, we just need someone to sit across the table from us.

Gandalf'd

I'm usually a morning person.
But my mornings consist of walking up at 7:30, making coffee, reading my bible, journaling all whilst under the covers of my bed. 
Except on street sweeping day. 

This morning I woke up with a loud BANG BANG on my bedroom door.
"LEX!! LEX!! ITS STREET SWEEPING DAY!!! LLLLLLEEEEEEXXXXXXXXXXXX!" from Kaegan. 

In blurry confusion I immediately ran outside to move my car. 
I gazed upon the beast as he swept down my street with a jolt of 4 miles per hour on that puppy. 
He was fast approaching. I knew what I had to do.

And thats where I Gandalf'd him: 
"Youuuuu shallll not SWEEEEEEEEEPPP!" 
from the other side of my street. 

He barely even noticed but I hopped in and drove off, parked and was content. I walked back home and gave a thumbs up to the parking guy trailing him. 
For today. Citation boy, Sweeper Man and Gandalf herself knew today was the day
I was not getting a ticket. Today. I won. 

And was reminded that sometimes, in the midst of all things that are good, like easy mornings, you'll get an awakening that puts you out of your good mood. 
And you just gotta embrace that sucker. You will meet your beast. 
And usually Jesus will come pounding on your heart like "WAKE UP. I LOVE YOU. Go get em, wild girl! " 
And with him, you always win.

Make Me Brave.

Sitting here in this hammock, I am in awe of who the Lord is. 

I am captivated by the amount of grace he continues to show me. 

That is all he has continued to give me my whole life: grace upon grace. 

He has been the great comforter I've needed. 

He's been cultivating bravery in my heart. 

He's been present and he's remained. 

That is who he is: insurmountable grace. 

Oh, Nice.

As I sit outside watching the sun set over the mountains in San Diego, I am full of grief. 

I just heard about what happened in Nice, France and I am broken for the people. 

My mind started racing, asking questions like "How can I help?! What can I do?! Take my blood! I don't need it!!"

And I had nowhere to turn, so I turned to the mountains. 

I observed their everlasting beauty and watched as the sun set over the horizons. 

As night fall came, one star has remained in the sky (or maybe a planet!)

But it has remained and it is beautiful. 

It's Jesus. 

That is the only star that is currently lighting up my sky here in SD.

He's present. 

He is here. 

I prayed for Nice. 

I began thinking about decisions I've made this week....actually the lack of decision making.

Because I have decided to stop making decisions. 

Jesus, it's your turn. 

And I trust you. 

I'm sitting here listening to "Good, Good Father" by Chris Tomlin and what he says rings so true:

You're a good good father

It's who you are

And I'm loved by you

It's who I am

You are perfect in all of your ways

To us

It's love so undeniable 

I can hardly speak

Peace so unexplainable

I can hardly think

As you call me deeper still 

Into love 

Isn't that such a beautiful thing. Can you grasp that?

God is so perfect in his love for us. It is who he is. 

And I'm loved. 

How often do we believe that? 

I am loved. I am so loved. 

He loves you. He loves France. 

Be still and wait on him.

He wil make revelations so clear that when you stare out at your mountains, you will know it's been him. 

See it?

Embrace the Awkward: #1

Hi. I'm Alexis. 
And if you haven't seen my snapchat story from the other day...Let me tell you about my awkward life. 
I was at the gym in the big room ya know just doing some crunches and stuff when I noticed this dude walking up to me. 
"Hey. Do you have the time," he says. 
"Ya..Its 10:30" 
Then he walks away. Good plan. MIND YOU...There's a giant clock in the back of the room. 
THEN he walks BACK up to me and asks what my name is...Little did he realize that I was mid swig of water and as i went to reply I just kind of spit my water out everywhere. 
Luckily, I think I traumatized the poor guy, from being so close to the splash zone, and he asked if I was ok and said, "Cool. Well maybe ill see you around." Prob not. 

Moral here: ladies, if you want to get a guy away from you, just spit your water out..Just spit it out. 

I'm Alexis. And this is my awkward life. Welcome to it.

Encouragement for me and for you.

OH MAN. 

I have not written IN SO LONG. 

I was so avid about writing because it brings so much joy to my life, but with all the hustle and bustle of life, I have not had a still moment in such a long time. 

With work, family ties, a new relationship and figuring out a new career option I haven't had a chance.

And as I lay here in San Diego, I am still, finally. 

That is something I have been trying to cultivate this summer: Stillness. Being Still. (exo 14:14, baby)

Because I don't know about you, but I stress, man. 

And when I stress, it can come with a vengeance. 

I have a bad tendency of trying to handle tasks all alone. And trying to take control of every situation I can. That does not work, my friends. Not in the past. Not now and certainly not in the future. 

This summer, I've been traveling through Psalms in my bible. I love Psalms. It's like reading poems every day. And it is perfect that now is the time I have been reading them. Having made the choice to not go into chiropractics any more, I have felt so lost. And guess what comes with feeling lost? NOT BEING STILL, THAT'S WHAT. I thought that becoming a chiropractor was going to define my life. I had been planning on becoming a chiropractor since the beginning of high school and worked my tail off to figure out all the steps needed to get there. 

Can I tell you that reading through Psalms has changed that view of mine? 

I do not have to be a chiro to make something of my life. 

It has taken so long for me to realize that. 

You do not have to be anything. God will see to it that you do to be. 

Today, I have found encouragement in Psalm 45 & I want to share with you some encouragement:

Psalm 45:1 "...my tongue is the pen of a skillful writer."

HOLY COW. I love this. I mean I'm sure back in the day they said stuff like this, but I certainly wouldn't go up to the bagger boy at the grocery store and tell him my tongue is the pen of a skillful writer...like no.Can you imagine?

Bag boy: here are your groceries, lex!

Me: Cool! Thanks! Also. My tongue...ya. It's a pen. 

Bag boy:...what

Me: belongs to a skillful writer....nbd. 

Again....like no. 

But just think about that for a minute: what I say, comes from God. The potential I have behind my words have power. Can you imagine? A god so skillful in his ways can use you. No not can. HE IS! HE WILL! HE IS RIGHT THIS SECOND. I don't know what plans God has for me yet, but I rest in the fact that God has an immaculate plan for our lives. He is writing your story as you read this. He is a skillful writer and is writing your beautiful story. That is a wonderful thing. Rest in that.

Psalm 45:4 "...let your right hand display awesome deeds." 

The bible talks about right hands pretty often.

Even Drake thinks it's cool. (You're my right hand, duh dun dun dun)

More specifically God's right hand. He uses his right hand mightily. 

What are you doing with your right hand?

You might be thinking "well lex, I'm scrolling through your long post here" or "I'm drinking coffee" or "nothing"

BUT REALLY what are you doing?

What awesome deed are you doing? If you're like me and you haven't quite found it yet, you will. I am telling you, you will. 

I've been dating this really awesome guy. And I think about the awesome that he's doing. He's serving God and so many kiddos at a camp this summer. What he's doing is AWESOME. He is displaying an awesome deed for God. And I admire him and all he's doing for the lord. It's been so encouraging to know that he he's using his hands for good and not being idle. He is creating an awesome space for kids to go and grow in their relationship with the lord. I am so proud of him. 

I want an awesome deed. I crave one. And I know it will come when the time is right. 

Pray that your deed comes your way. Surely it will. Be still. God's got goodness coming your way. 

Psalm 45:11 "...The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord." 

I LOVE THIS. 

Ladies. 

YOU ARE SO STINKING BEAUTIFUL. DID YOU KNOW THAT?!

I have replayed this verse in my head all day today because I love this. 

Not only are you beautiful on the outside, but who you are on the inside thrives.

It's what makes you, uniquely you!  And The lord is ENTHRALLED by you.

And he stinking loves you to pieces!! 

Can you imagine finding a man someday that is just so in love with you that when he looks at you, he is just in awe?

Basically, every Disney movie. 

But that is the lord. He just adores you, sweet pea.

For most of my life, I never felt beautiful. I didn't feel pretty, nor did I like the person I was. 

I was bullied in junior high and became really insecure about my body. 

Then in high school, I realized that guys actually fed off my insecurities. I lacked self esteem and found that they were able to fill that void I had felt. 

Now, I look back and think about what a gosh darn fool I was. If only I had known that one man, Jesus, absolutely adored me, I would have been satisfied. 

Reading this today, has been the utmost of comforting. I am enough. I have enough to offer. 

For we are beautiful in the lords eyes. You are pretty. You are flawless. You are gorgeous. You are worth it. Your heart of gold glimmers. Your eyes like fire glisten. Your song flourishes by god's grace. You. Are. Just. Adored.

Some Extras: 

Psalm 46:1 "...God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble."

I like to recite this to myself when it's time to chill out lex and let God in.

Psalm 46: 5 "...God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day." 

I'm pulling this out of context. This verse is really about the Earth and nations falling underway, but I like to think that maybe this is for you. Or for me. Or for who ever reads this. Maybe you need to know today that God is with you. He will not let you fall. He will be there to guide and lead you as soon as you wake up tomorrow. He's got a plan. He's got this. Do not fret little one. 

Hey. 

I love you. 

Thanks for readin' 

Adoring you from afar, 

Lex